I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
