I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
