I can tuck mytits in my pants
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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