We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she peed on how many people?
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
