goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
