I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
