she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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