so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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