Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
