I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
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