i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
