Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
my shit smells like andre
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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