I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
