I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
