I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
I have feelings that need drinking.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
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