Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Mom said you looked used
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
Randomize