I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
