Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
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