Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
