is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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