And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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