A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
