Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Randomize
