dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
