Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
