is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
