Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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