I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
