How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
It was a blind-side dick pic.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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