I smell stomach acid.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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