"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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