I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Randomize
