Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
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