Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Randomize
