He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
