I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
