I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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