yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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