oh god the rape fog is back!
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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