i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Randomize
