And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
