Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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