and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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