is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
