This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
thus making me awesome and them whores
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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