My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
