Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
