Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize