Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
