the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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