There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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