Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life