bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
my phone needs a breathalizer
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude