I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
