yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
