so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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