just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
