he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
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