arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
