Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
