im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
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