i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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