I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
