Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
operation harelip BJ is a go
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize